So here we are towards the end of 2021 and the last time I posted here on my blog was February 2020. The title of the post was: “THEME 2020: ALL ABOUT THAT DISCIPLINE.” I had just completed the Whole 30 elimination diet and was feeling mighty! We were only beginning to understand the effects of Covid and nobody understood what was about to happen.

What did happen is familiar to us all, so I don’t feel I need to go over it. What I will do is jot down a few takeaways.

It’s October 2021 and Covid is still here. Where are we now?

Well, some people are taking it seriously and some are not. Some people are pro-vax and some couldn’t be more against. Do politics have much to do with it all? Absolutely, but I’m not going to get into all that. What both sides of the argument agree on most is that it’s extremely important to build up a strong immune system. It’s always been important, but nowadays everything is depending on it. Where we work, who we interact with, where we travel, where we shop.

Most of us have taken a hard look at what is important in life and what we can leave out. Stuck in our homes, we began to look around at our surroundings to see what we could use and how we could de-clutter. If you had any space in your yard for a garden, it’s highly likely you even planted some vegetables to prepare for the uncertainty of not being able to find what you need at the grocery store.

The cool thing about it all was how resourceful people became. Many people reverted to bartering like the old days and even setting up local delivery systems. Employers realized they didn’t actually need their staff to be physically on-site in order to get work done and instead were able do it all remotely. This is huge and changes everything. I mean, just think about all the overhead it saves businesses to not have to pay for the space and all the supplies needed for that space while people are sitting there under that roof. How about the petroleum that isn’t being used and pollution that is no longer a result of it?

By now I’m sure most of us have heard the term “The Great Resignation.” I give kudos to all the people who have taken time to re-think the path they were on for something better. All those people working two and sometimes three jobs to pay for essentials like food, rent, fuel, childcare, etc… This has been a long time coming because the cost of living has far surpassed what our government considers a “living wage.” It’s been a breath of fresh air to see how creative people have gotten with regards to branding their own skills and marketing them. This gives humans a sense of purpose and direction. Yes, we all need money and will likely have to work at something we don’t like, but it doesn’t have to be all the time and in most cases we can start to edge it out if we work our passion hard enough. I’ve seen it and I want to be there too.

All this extra time people have had to go inward has been beneficial to many. Although many have used it to waste time. Health-wise, we’ve all seen the emergence of “expert” YouTube videos on many controversial topics and gone down the rabbit hole of conspiracy theories. It’s been extremely frustrating to us all on both sides of these issues. I have faith in us though. I believe we actually know deep down when something is true and not bullshit – or should I say, “uneducated opinion.” We know how we should be eating, drinking (or not drinking), exercising, thinking and interacting. WE JUST NEED TO DO IT. And do it more often than not. The world can be such an ugly place these days and we need to stop making it worse. I believe the first step in doing that is to feel good in our bodies and minds. Once we’re in that mode, it makes it easier to tune out the rest because we don’t want anything fucking up our flow.

Mindset reset

The holidays are upon us now, so it may not be the best time to embark on big changes, but small ones can still make a difference in the way we think.

• Less sitting, more walking.
• Less junk-food, more nutrient-dense calories.
• Less alcohol, more water.
• Less media input, more meditation.
• Less taking, more giving.
• Less hate, more love.

These are all things that can be integrated slowly over the next few months while thinking about how we want to start 2022. I’m going to be doing Whole 30 beginning January 1, so let me know if you’d like to join me. Maybe another challenge as well? I haven’t decided what yet. Challenges are good and January 1 is a great time to start them. I don’t care what anyone says to the contrary.

In the meantime, cheers to good health!

“Talent without discipline is like an octopus on roller skates. There’s plenty of movement, but you never know if it’s going to be forward, backwards, or sideways.” ~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Why Discipline?

Well, because I’m 57 years young and discipline is something I’ve never had very much of. Especially over the last decade. After the loss of our home, business, and several very important relationships, I’ve just kind of been meandering through life without a sense of direction. Slightly depressed most of the time and with a seriously low level of self-esteem. The only way I felt I could escape it was to get out and hike and hiking can’t be all there is to life. So, at the beginning of this decade I made a crucial decision. IT’S TIME. Time to live every area of my life with intention. I’m putting myself out there and I’m not going to be ashamed to be vulnerable. I need to quit squandering my precious existence and reach a potential I can be proud of – and, if I’m 100% honest, it would mean the world to me if my sons were proud of me too.

Don’t get me wrong, my sons love their momma, but I know they worry about me. They understand my potential and have witnessed my pain. What I don’t think they understand, is why there has been such a decline in developing that potential. They are all very driven and realize I must have had a hand in that. In fact, all of their lives I’ve urged them to live their passion and make a livelihood out of it. But what happened to mom? As much as I hate to admit it, I think watching me has taught them something else – and that’s how not to be. I know all about that feeling and it’s okay because I want so much more for them. I understand because I’ve felt the same way about my own mom, as much as I love her.

So, the reason I chose discipline is because that’s how this decade must start. I need to set that as the foundation, because without it, I won’t make anything happen. The best way to predict your future is to create it right? The way I plan to do that is by blocking out time and actually living off a schedule. Imagine that! I’ll select themes for every month and make challenges for myself, then document it through pictures, words and video via this blog and a variety of social media platforms.

If nothing else, by documenting what I’m doing now (with several glimpses into my past), I can make this a record for future generations, so they can learn about me. I’ll also keep a personal journal of all my ideas and the way I’d like my life to be structured. This Journal will include a variety of logs to help keep me accountable to myself. Exercise, food, meditation, art, writing, water intake, stuff like that. It’s called “Bullet Journaling” and I plan to write a post to cover that in more detail.

2020 has brought a major shift in my thinking and I’m relieved to have that last decade behind me. Looking back on it feels a bit dark. There were some bright moments, but for the most part I spent it in bondage to myself. I’m looking forward to a future full of art, health, family, prosperity and The Great Outdoors!

January Theme: Mind and Body Reset – It All Begins Here

“2020: The year of discipline,” had to begin with mind and body in the first month. Why?… Because once you realize you have the power to control what you eat and how you feel, you also find you have a higher capacity to think creatively and with a much higher level of energy. Suddenly, you have the momentum and motivation to take on other disciplines.

During the previous couple of months (over the holidays), I had been battling stomach issues. The term “bubbleguts” is exactly what I was experiencing. It wasn’t painful per se, it just felt uncomfortable and I was tired of it. I felt foggy and out of balance, which wasn’t conducive to pulling myself out of the funk. When January came, I didn’t even have to think twice about it. I was ready. A reset in all things “Dana.” I embarked upon an adventure to finally get my mind and body in balance. I focused on diet, mindset, meditation and hiking.

Whole 30 Elimination Diet

I settled on Whole 30 because a good friend of mine had done it and seemed to get good results. Whole 30 eliminates, all grains, dairy, legumes, added sugar, alcohol and processed foods. The idea is to purchase the foods you’d find on the outer walls of the grocery store. Whole fruits & vegetables, grass fed meats, everything as organic and minimally processed as you can find and afford. The thing I really liked about it was the fact that I could still eat my precious potatoes in moderation. Although as it turns out, I may have a bit of an intolerance to the nightshade family of vegetables, which weren’t on the elimination list. I can still eat them, but in moderation and not right before bed.

Biggest takeaways from Whole 30:

• We all eat waaay too much sugar! You will become very knowledgeable about levels of sugar in various foods and what you really need to stay away from. I’m not saying I’ll never again have a piece of pie or bowl of ice cream, but it sure won’t be very often. When I found myself craving something sweet, I opted for fruit and after a few days I got used to it and it became very satisfying. I had developed a new habit and my palate became super sensitive to sugar. Once you get to the point where your mind is telling you something is bad for you, you realize that is what this way of eating teaches you. It’s all about self-control, detecting certain substances and developing positive eating habits. Cutting sugar really isn’t all that painful. At least not for me. The reason it wasn’t painful or too hard for me to accomplish is because 1. I felt so awesome and 2. fruit is delicious!
• I learned I have a tremendous amount of will-power. Yes, I got cravings, but I denied those cravings and felt accomplished at the end of every day. That goes a long way towards building self-esteem and confidence.
• I have power over the way I feel physically and mentally. If I don’t feel good in my body, I find it very hard to think straight. Doesn’t everyone? I was already feeling a lot better on day two of the diet, which was motivation to want to continue and I was successful to the end. I’ll incorporate much of what I learned into future eating habits. Developing a nutrient-dense diet with the elimination (or moderation) of the foods that don’t bode well with me.
• I’ll ALWAYS read labels unless I am already familiar with a product. We all need to be aware of what’s in our food. That’s one way to take our health into our own hands. No one is going to do that for us. WE ARE WHAT WE EAT.
• No more inflammation. The discomfort in my gut went away, as well as the aches in my knees and elbows. I’d have to assume the mental clarity was due in part to absence of inflammation.
• I LOST 14 POUNDS! I honestly wasn’t doing it to lose weight. That wasn’t even my goal, but apparently my body knew better because that’s what happened! I say this because I know how important this is to some. My whole core feels deflated. My stomach flat. I realize I may gain some of that weight back (or maybe I won’t?). Either way, I don’t see that as a problem. Now I feel like I just need to work on muscle mass.

Things I missed most on Whole 30:

Sugar in my coffee, my medicated dark chocolate square at the end of the day, a tasty handcrafted ale on occasion, and jalapeno margaritas. I don’t usually eat much bread, but I did miss the occasional sandwich as well. These are all things I plan to add back in moderation.

My food and beverage staples:

• Lots of chicken! Roasted chicken, chicken soup, chicken coconut curry were staples (coconut milk had the creaminess I was craving).
• Salads with protein. Like salmon, steak, chicken, shrimp and/or egg.
• Spaghetti squash with meat sauce.
• Eggs for days. Hard-boiled, over-easy, scrambled, scrambled with vegetables, etc…
• Slopper without the buns, cheese or sour cream.
• Breakfast consisted of fruit and a handful of cashews most of the time, which filled the void and kept me satiated for quite a while.
• Dessert was always some type of fruit.
• I drank a ton of water. I have an annoying app that reminds me
• I also drank about 16 ounces of kombucha every day and I made up my own ginger, lemon and turmeric tea to have as a tonic upon waking.

Intermittent Fasting (IF)

I’ve been practicing intermittent fasting – 16:8 (fast for 16 hours with an 8 hour eating window) for several months now and while it does help my digestion to limit food intake before bed and then skip the usual first meal of the day, it didn’t do enough to get rid of the bubbleguts I was experiencing. Once I combined it with Whole 30, my issues completely subsided. I noticed if I ate a meal too close to bedtime, I woke up feeling crappy, so half the battle was timing. I was okay if I ate a small snack like a handful of blueberries or something, but not much more. Last meal about three hours before bedtime was ideal. I’ve learned that I’d rather go to bed a little hungry than wake up with bubbleguts. Fasting in this manner is not hard for me and I think I could go even longer to experience a higher level of autophagy.

Exercise

I don’t feel like I put in enough exercise over the last month, but I did hike 3-4 times per week at an average of about four miles each hike. I do it regularly anyway not only for the cardio, but also for the positive mental aspect. It always gets rid of any anxiety I might be feeling and helps me to get a good night’s sleep.

Speaking of Sleep

I don’t usually get enough of it. I am constantly sleep-deprived which makes me less capable of thinking optimally. So, I made it a point to work on getting to bed earlier and reducing bright light at night. I’ve also been learning about the importance of restorative sleep and I’ve placed it at the top of my list of priorities. My goal is to get much closer to the rising and setting of the sun and to optimize my circadian rhythm. People who know me are laughing right now – I can hear it! But there is such a huge difference in the way my mind and body feel after a good night’s sleep. It means everything to me. I won’t be able to get it down perfect because my living arrangement isn’t what it needs to be yet. I’m looking forward to the day I can fix that.

Mindset Reset by Mel Robbins

When I stumbled upon this free online course, it was while I was in the middle of Mel’s “Best Decade Ever” course, which is good, but I thought Mindset Reset covered more of what I needed. It is a very, very powerful 30-day training of the mind with downloadable tools and an awesome group of extremely supportive people (mostly women) who counsel, cheer, support, cry, befriend, and post their own vulnerabilities, all while in the safety of the group. I’ve honestly never seen a more supportive group of humans. I can’t begin to tell you how much I’ve gotten out of it. It was the perfect complement to all the other stuff I was doing in January.  

Meditation

I’m a huge fan of guided meditation because I like to be taken to another place. I meditate while lying in bed before I go to sleep and while sitting up in bed when I wake. It’s all about visualization. I visualize what I want for my future and I do mindful body scans on myself. I have a really hard time clearing my mind, so guided meditations are where it’s at for me right now. Once I get better at it, I hope to take it to the next level. For now, my favorite of all the meditations I do, is where I meet with my future self. It’s one of the most intense experiences I’ve ever had. So much so, I plan to get much deeper into it and I even have ideas for a book.

January Review

January 2020 kicked ass. I came out of it so much stronger and I really learned a lot about my body and mind. I’m feeling great! My thoughts are super energized and creative and the anxiety I was feeling in the previous months is almost non-existent. Now I just need to get more done. More exercise, more writing, more art, and a purpose-driven livelihood. I have not been good at managing time. I allow far too many distractions and I don’t have time for that. I need to be patient in the process and put 100% into all of my challenges. I’m really looking forward to what I have planned for next month.

February’s Themes

• 29 pieces of art in 29 days. I’m going to work my way through various art mediums, possibly even using some of my photos as inspiration. I have zero experience painting, but I’m excited to see how it goes! Simple sketches to get me flowing creatively, photography and writing blog posts count towards “pieces” as well. The idea is to get into the practice of creating on a daily basis. If I miss a day, I’m allowed to do two the next, but I don’t plan to take advantage of it and get too far behind. That would defeat the purpose.
• Weekday weight training. It can be body-weight or free weights. I need to start building muscle mass. I can see it wasting away with age and I’m going to put a stop to that shit right now! I’ll continue to hike as well to get my cardio in and keep my sanity.

Everything that worked for me in January’s themes will also come with me into February.

I realized something was wrong in my 40’s. I’d be doing yardwork or driving my car or shopping in the local grocery store and I wouldn’t want anyone to look at me because I was so self-conscious. If I didn’t have time to put on makeup before leaving the house, I’d make sure I had my sunglasses to hide behind. To take that even further, I’d make sure I went out to do the errands during the day, so I’d have an excuse for the sunglasses.

Here it is 10+ years later and the sagging, beginning stages of crapey skin and varicose leg veins is something I’m struggling even harder to hide. I wear pants all summer long because I’m so consumed with the thought that someone may be disgusted with how my legs look. I’m totally willing to be on the verge of heatstroke, while everyone around me is enjoying the weather. This, coming from a person who spent many a summer out on the beaches of California or by a pool or boating on the Colorado river in a bathing suit for a large majority of the time.

Putting on makeup is highly annoying because I can’t see wtf I’m doing half the time – especially eyeliner when my eyes are puffy, crinkly, and watery. Makeup is a bitch, that’s all there is to it. I use to love the artistry of it and now I dread it. Then there is the hair. A large percentage of my hairline has turned white. At least from what I can see while I’m dyeing it. I’m not seeing gray, only white. I dye my own roots about every two weeks and feel much more confident in my appearance after doing so, but how long do I want to continue to slather all those chemicals all over my scalp? I am not a chemical type of person AT ALL. Most of the food I purchase is organic, I’ve never used a pesticide on anything and I’m very conscious of the products I apply to my skin.

I’ve recently been considering a transition to my natural state hair-wise, but I don’t think I’d be able to handle the line of demarcation between the white and the color it’s been most of my life. I really don’t even know what’s going on in those hair follicles of mine because I haven’t seen it in decades. I started following a few silver haired women on Instagram who are all about embracing the gray (or silver) and there’s one that is all before and after transition posts of lots of different women. I’m thinking these women are pretty brave! I know I’ll get there, just not quite yet.

Change the Mind, Change the Appearance?

Another little tidbit, I was recently going through our wedding photos and noticed my smile was once much bigger than it is now. I don’t understand how something so much a part of a human can change like that. Is it because I’m so much more self-conscious now? It’s amazing how much a person’s appearance can be affected in ways that are mentally initiated. A more confident person will smile big and genuine. My smiles are usually a fake, insecure, “oh my God what do I look like right now?” type of smile. Candid shots tend to come out much better. As you can imagine, I’m not much of a selfie taker and if someone else happens to get one of me, I make sure it’s Dana approved before they’re allowed to post it. Is that enjoying the moment? Is that what’s important in life? Or might it be better to be fully present and not worried so much about how I look in the photo? AND I want to smile bigger again!

I’m currently at a point in my life where I want to move from just settling with the way I am, to thriving and experiencing more of who I could be. I want to be able to document my Wayfarin’ Woman experiences out on the trails, my art and whatever else without appearing self-conscious in a photo or video. So here I am once again, arriving at the same solution as for so many of my other issues. Get my damn eyes off of myself and focus outward! My goal isn’t personal beauty. My goal is to convey the beauty I experience in my spirit through the senses. That is one thing I know about myself, I see beauty in a lot of places where others don’t and I think the world would be a better place if people looked up or outside of themselves once in awhile. I can’t force people to see these things, but I can make an effort to put it out there.